It’s been six years since we started our very first post on this site, the day we started on our very first 30-Day Minimalism Game. Looking over our old posts, I am reminded of the excitement that came from slowly letting go of item after item until we had purged 1,128 items in just 30-days. Admittedly, days 1-9 were a breeze but when we started getting into double digits, the ‘challenge’ truly did become challenging. In the end, our house felt lighter and we quickly became accustomed to owning less.
Like many on the minimalism path, I dove deep into all the books, blogs and podcasts I could get my hands on to set up a safety net for backsliding. I joined all of the Facebook groups I could find, from ‘Minimalist Mom’ to ‘Minimalism Matters’, eating up all of the posts and photos. Just being part of these communities felt meaningful, like I was part of a secret society of seekers, looking to get back to basics. It was inspiring to see people posting before and after photos and dreaming about what my life would look like when I reached the end of this minimalism journey.
Purging items from my house was about more than just the items I gave away. It wasn’t even really about the items themselves. If the mere act of purging items was enough, I wouldn’t have filled my home up again with more second hand finds, discounted items and gifted treasures. No, the real challenge was looking inward and asking different questions. I started asking ‘why’ instead of ‘how’ and slowly things started to shift.
My vice: second hand stores. I love a good deal and I love too that feeling of exhilaration that comes from finding something for a fraction of the price I would normally pay. I would drive from one store to the next, spending hours walking the aisles and purchasing items that I thought would save me. Save me time, money and energy in some unforeseen future occasion. That birthday party I might have, that friend who may want that scarf, that pair of shoes I might wear to the party I might be invited to. I was ready! I honestly, believed I was spending my time, money and energy wisely. I was wrong.
I purged countless shoes I never wore, to parties I was never invited. I spent money on things I never ended up using, selling or gifting. I spent hours of my life driving by myself, or walking through the stores when I could have doing so many other, more connecting activities. I spent money to ‘save money’ when I should have spent less and truly saved more. I was searching for something and it wasn’t to be found in a store bought item.
I was lonely. I used retail therapy to try and feel less so. It didn’t work.
I bought items to try and fill some void within myself. That feeling of happiness that came from finding an item was short lived and could never be a replacement for joy. Sure, it felt awesome buying a new piece of clothing but it was fleeting and only masked how I was feeling about myself. I would keep myself busy, to I’d never slow down and never be left alone with my thoughts, and it worked, until it didn’t anymore. Until, I decided to be honest with myself, to ask the ‘why.’
For me, minimalism isn’t about the items. Minimalism is just a tool that has helped me find myself. The hardest work isn’t the act of purging things. It’s figuring out who you are without them. I am not free of feeling loneliness or sadness. I still struggle with life’s challenges. The difference now though is that I can acknowledge and hold space for myself as it comes. If I’m lonely, I text a friend, meditate, or journal about it. If I’m feeling sad, I sit and reflect on that sadness instead of trying to fill the discomfort with things that don’t add value to my life.
Sure, minimalism has created space on the shelf, but more importantly, it has created a space for me to breath and to better understand myself.
Our Minimalist Family 